We all expect new things to happen as we enter middle age.
Chin hair. Weight gain. Glass ceilings. And of course,
divorce. We all know that only about half of marriages succeed, and we
have all (at this point) been through numerous divorces with our close friends
(if not ourselves).
However, what is this revelation in middle age? After
hitting 44 with almost 20 years of marriage and two kids under your belt,
your husband comes to you in the bedroom one evening --- he tells you that he
is gay.
Yes, gay.
WTF??
You never suspected (despite the mediocre sex over the
years). How could you have known? And it gets worse. He admits that
he has already had numerous affairs --- two ways, three ways, random lunch
encounters.
Now he’s basically put your life at risk as well as cheated
on you.
Who does this happen too? Recently, a close friend of
mine. I couldn’t believe it. I thought they had the perfect
marriage and perfect life. Both good looking and successful. A big
house. Two beautiful children.
So for our readers, we’d like to ask you to comment here and
let us know if this has ever happened to a girlfriend of yours or even you? And
how did you deal with it?
My girlfriend isn’t dealing so well. In fact, she’s a
lunatic. I think she has lot her mind.
First, she went through the general stage of extreme
grief. Turning to her parents for comfort – crying buckets.
Her marriage was over. Her life as she knew it was over. They would
have to sell the house. Tell the kids.
It was all so overwhelming and shocking.
However, then she quickly entered acceptance mode. She
texted me about my views on online dating sites and immediately signed up for
three determined to meet a straight man who knew how to screw. (I’m not
kidding).
This preoccupation with getting laid (not remarried) turned
into a mission. The innocent “winks” and texts soon turned into
full fledge conversations with the exchange of (inappropriate) photos. I
told her she was losing her mind. But she insisted she just wanted to
have a little fun.
Date and have good sex. That’s it. I guess I cannot
blame her given I’ve been doing just the same for 20 years.
Last night, in fact, she had her first date. However,
like the vast majority of men out there, he is a liar. He’s still married but
“probably soon to separate.” Her next date with a tatoo'ed and bulky Irish
man is later this week. Her husband doesn’t like that she is dating, but
they have an agreement.
He had his trysts at lunch; now she is going to have hers at
night, and he can babysit the kids while she does. For reasons unclear,
she hasn’t kicked him out yet, but that will come at the end of summer.
In any event, we’d like your thoughts on having a gay (thank
God he didn’t pull a Bruce on her) husband and what she should be doing.
You should also feel free to comment on the dating as well.
