I do not go on dates in grocery stores.

Last night I met a very handsome man for our first date .... at  a grocery store.

I'm not kidding.

Interestingly enough,I was attending a seminar at a gorgeous hotel across the street from the store, and there was yet another gorgeous hotel (with an equally swank hotel bar) directly across the street, but he suggested we meet on the second floor of a "grocery store" where they allegedly served wine and beer.

I rejected this idea as a dismal one at the onset.  My friend texted me fervently "just go to the hotel bar... tell him to meet you there. You can't go to a grocery store on a date!"  But I didn't want to see high maintenance (I always try to dump that one much later on).  So I did what I was asked to do.  I went to a quiet and empty table on the second floor of the grocery store and sat there and waited for him to arrive.

Immediately, I knew this was NOT the place for a proper date. The space was vast and open and the lights were super bright. I much prefer a dim and hazy atmosphere especially given my recent diagnosis of vascular rosacea.  Aromas of rotisserie chicken abounded.  Noises associated with checkout difficulties ("problem on aisle 6!)" reverberated up the stairs.  Even the wine glasses were tiny with pours limited to FIVE OUNCES.  I just knew this was going to be a disaster. I almost ran literally ran next door to the hotel bar.  But then he arrived.

Admittedly, he was quite handsome and quite a gentleman (albeit 15 minutes late) but he and I did not see eye to eye on the grocery store venue. CLEARLY, he thought this was a cute and novel idea.  An interesting spot,if you will.  I did not.  For many years, I lived near an upscale Whole Foods. It's okay, okay? If you want a nice piece of fresh fish or an organic apple, it's fine. But for drinks? Not so much.

We moved over to the self pour wine cabinets.  No. You don't get a waitress at the grocery store either.  We tried a mere 5 ounce pour of a nice Pinot Noir and had a decent amount of conversation over perfunctory topics: work, politics, the stock market, travel, etc. However,  I had been in an all day seminar and was starving! If we had gone to the hotel bar, I could be eating foie gras by now.  But he (like many cheap men today) didn't offer me any food.  I mean, he could have at least just dropped downstairs and grabbed me one of those rotisserie chickens! Or a cup of soup!  At a side note, I have found that men no longer like to feed you (it's too expensive), they just want to meet drinks.  Or in this case a "drink."  No. We did not have another drink.  He appeared ready to go --- go and grocery shop, that is.  I'm not making this up.  He told me he was going to wander around a bit and maybe do some shopping.  I think he even invited me to join him, but I told him I was good on groceries.  

So I don't think I'll see him again. He did ask me to text him and suggest we meet up again, but unless I need paper towels, I don't think he'll be hearing from me. 

Last night I met a very handsome man for our first date .... at  a grocery store.

I'm not kidding.

Interestingly enough,I was attending a seminar at a gorgeous hotel across the street from the store, and there was yet another gorgeous hotel (with an equally swank hotel bar) directly across the street, but he suggested we meet on the second floor of a "grocery store" where they allegedly served wine and beer.

I rejected this idea as a dismal one at the onset.  My friend texted me fervently "just go to the hotel bar... tell him to meet you there. You can't go to a grocery store on a date!"  But I didn't want to see high maintenance (I always try to dump that one much later on).  So I did what I was asked to do.  I went to a quiet and empty table on the second floor of the grocery store and sat there and waited for him to arrive.

Immediately, I knew this was NOT the place for a proper date. The space was vast and open and the lights were super bright. I much prefer a dim and hazy atmosphere especially given my recent diagnosis of vascular rosacea.  Aromas of rotisserie chicken abounded.  Noises associated with checkout difficulties ("problem on aisle 6!)" reverberated up the stairs.  Even the wine glasses were tiny with pours limited to FIVE OUNCES.  I just knew this was going to be a disaster. I almost ran literally ran next door to the hotel bar.  But then he arrived.

Admittedly, he was quite handsome and quite a gentleman (albeit 15 minutes late) but he and I did not see eye to eye on the grocery store venue. CLEARLY, he thought this was a cute and novel idea.  An interesting spot,if you will.  I did not.  For many years, I lived near an upscale Whole Foods. It's okay, okay? If you want a nice piece of fresh fish or an organic apple, it's fine. But for drinks? Not so much.

We moved over to the self pour wine cabinets.  No. You don't get a waitress at the grocery store either.  We tried a mere 5 ounce pour of a nice Pinot Noir and had a decent amount of conversation over perfunctory topics: work, politics, the stock market, travel, etc. However,  I had been in an all day seminar and was starving! If we had gone to the hotel bar, I could be eating foie gras by now.  But he (like many cheap men today) didn't offer me any food.  I mean, he could have at least just dropped downstairs and grabbed me one of those rotisserie chickens! Or a cup of soup!  At a side note, I have found that men no longer like to feed you (it's too expensive), they just want to meet drinks.  Or in this case a "drink."  No. We did not have another drink.  He appeared ready to go --- go and grocery shop, that is.  I'm not making this up.  He told me he was going to wander around a bit and maybe do some shopping.  I think he even invited me to join him, but I told him I was good on groceries.  

So I don't think I'll see him again. He did ask me to text him and suggest we meet up again, but unless I need paper towels, I don't think he'll be hearing from me. 

I do not go on dates in grocery stores.

Last night I met a very handsome man for our first date .... at  a grocery store.

I'm not kidding.

Interestingly enough,I was attending a seminar at a gorgeous hotel across the street from the store, and there was yet another gorgeous hotel (with an equally swank hotel bar) directly across the street, but he suggested we meet on the second floor of a "grocery store" where they allegedly served wine and beer.

I rejected this idea as a dismal one at the onset.  My friend texted me fervently "just go to the hotel bar... tell him to meet you there. You can't go to a grocery store on a date!"  But I didn't want to seem high maintenance (I always try to dump that bomb much later on).  So I did what I was asked to do.  I went to a quiet and empty table on the second floor of the grocery store and sat there and waited for him to arrive.

Immediately, I knew this was NOT the place for a proper date. The space was vast and open and the lights were fluorescent and super bright. I much prefer a dim and hazy atmosphere especially given my recent diagnosis of vascular rosacea.  Aromas of rotisserie chicken abounded.  Noises associated with checkout difficulties ("problem on aisle 6!)" reverberated up the stairs.  Even the wine glasses were tiny with pours limited to FIVE OUNCES.  I just knew this was going to be a disaster. I almost ran literally ran next door to the hotel bar.  But then he arrived.

Admittedly, he was quite handsome and quite a gentleman (albeit 15 minutes late) but he and I did not see eye to eye on the grocery store venue. CLEARLY, he thought this was a cute and novel idea.  An interesting spot,if you will.  I did not.  For many years, I lived near an upscale Whole Foods. It's okay, okay? If you want a nice piece of fresh fish or an organic apple, it's fine. But for drinks? Not so much.

We moved over to the self pour wine cabinets.  No. You don't get a waitress at the grocery store either.  We tried a mere 5 ounce pour of a nice Pinot Noir and had a decent amount of conversation over perfunctory topics: work, politics, the stock market, travel, etc. However,  I had been in an all day seminar and was starving! I kept thinking that if we had gone to the hotel bar, I could be eating foie gras by now with a nine ounce poor of a really good Cab.  But he (like many cheap men today) didn't offer me any food.  I mean, he could have at least just dropped downstairs and grabbed me one of those rotisserie chickens! Or a cup of soup!  At a side note, I have found that men no longer like to feed you (it's too expensive), they just want to meet drinks.  Or in this case a "drink."  No. We did not have another drink.  He appeared ready to go --- go and grocery shop, that is.  I'm not making this up.  He told me he was going to wander around a bit and maybe do some shopping.  I think he even invited me to join him, but I told him I was good on groceries.  

So I don't think I'll see him again. He did ask me to text him and suggest we meet up again, but unless I need paper towels, I don't think he'll be hearing from me. 

New Revelations in Middle Age.

 

We all expect new things to happen as we enter middle age.

 

Chin hair. Weight gain. Glass ceilings. And of course, divorce.  We all know that only about half of marriages succeed, and we have all (at this point) been through numerous divorces with our close friends (if not ourselves).

However, what  is this revelation in middle age? After hitting 44 with almost 20 years of marriage and two kids under your belt,  your husband comes to you in the bedroom one evening --- he tells you that he is gay.

Yes, gay.

WTF?? 

 

You never suspected (despite the mediocre sex over the years). How could you have known?  And it gets worse.  He admits that he has already had numerous affairs --- two ways, three ways, random lunch encounters.

Now he’s basically put your life at risk as well as cheated on you.

 

Who does this happen too?  Recently, a close friend of mine.  I couldn’t believe it.  I thought they had the perfect marriage and perfect life.  Both good looking and successful.  A big house.  Two beautiful children.

 

So for our readers, we’d like to ask you to comment here and let us know if this has ever happened to a girlfriend of yours or even you? And how did you deal with it? 

 

My girlfriend isn’t dealing so well. In fact, she’s a lunatic. I think she has lot her mind.

 

First, she went through the general stage of extreme grief.  Turning to her parents for comfort – crying buckets.   Her marriage was over. Her life as she knew it was over.  They would have to sell the house. Tell the kids.

It was all so overwhelming and shocking.

 

However, then she quickly entered acceptance mode.  She texted me about my views on online dating sites and immediately signed up for three determined to meet a straight man who knew how to screw.  (I’m not kidding).

This preoccupation with getting laid (not remarried) turned into a mission.   The innocent “winks” and texts soon turned into full fledge conversations with the exchange of (inappropriate) photos.  I told her she was losing her mind.  But she insisted she just wanted to have a little fun.

Date and have good sex. That’s it.  I guess I cannot blame her given I’ve been doing just the same for 20 years.

 

Last night, in fact, she had her first date.  However, like the vast majority of men out there, he is a liar. He’s still married but “probably soon to separate.”  Her next date with a tatoo'ed and bulky Irish man is later this week.  Her husband doesn’t like that she is dating, but they have an agreement.

He had his trysts at lunch; now she is going to have hers at night, and he can babysit the kids while she does.  For reasons unclear, she hasn’t kicked him out yet, but that will come at the end of summer.

 

In any event, we’d like your thoughts on having a gay (thank God he didn’t pull a Bruce on her) husband and what she should be doing.  You should also feel free to comment on the dating as well.

 

 

 

Where To Find the Appropriate Work Dress?

Hello Ragers,


This article is actually for you -- we want your feedback about what now appears to be an anachronistic item -- the appropriate work dress.  I know I have written about this before, but I have to revisit this topic because it still sets me into a rage.  While shopping at Nordy's yesterday with my girlfriends, we all noticed and commented on this problem.  The "work dresses" now are very short or have cut outs in the back or slits up the side.  I mean, come on. We're not 23 and in PR in New York City.  Even if I was, I doubt I'd feel comfortable wearing these numbers especially given my propensity to be sexually harassed at work. AND I was looking at the alleged high end work dresses (DVF, Tory Burch,  Marc Jacobs -- all too short!).  Diane Von Fursterberg initially designed her iconic wrap dress for work and then going out after work.  However, it now appears that she totally forgot the work part of the equation. Geez.

Later, I did find some that were length appropriate at J.Crew, but they were so BORING.  The Ann Taylor ones also are so boring totally lacking color or creativity.  So I left empty-handed.  (Ok, I did buy one bottle of Jo Malone perfume, but that was for my mom. It's awesome -- smells like peonies).   Given that I will never wear a suit again because I detest them, the work dress is all I can do this Spring.  So please us know where we can find something that is apropo. (comments welcome below).

P.S. Soon, our favorite guest writer, Ann, returns with an intriguing piece about dating a silver fox.
More soon.

The Best Concealer.

Hello Ragers,

If you are like me you are still raging in your 40s and are waking up with major bags under the eyes.  Plus, our skin is thinner now unfortunately so now the purple really shows up under the eyes.
I just found a great new concealer though which actually not only covers up the purple but also really makes your skin look translucent and clear.  I hate to be such a Laura Mercier product whore, but I must say, yet again, Laura Mercier wins.

Historically, I have been loyal to NARS concealer and tinted moisturizer and the NARS Orgasm blush. I still love the NARS line and swear by their tinted moisturizer for better coverage.  But the NARS concealer just wasn't cutting it anymore so I decided to switch to a higher coverage number.

Try Laura Mercier High Coverage Concealer for Under Eye. (I got color 2.5 -- they have many choices).  It will bust the purple and get your face an overall lift.
About $20 and at most department stores or Sephora.

-Christine

The best new workout tank: T9 Mystique.

Hello again Ragers,

If you are like me and my 40-something girlfriends, you may notice that your chest is looking a bit beat these days.
Sun damage for all of us sun goddesses lathering up with baby oil in our 20s.  Running or hiking outside for years without little to no sunscreen. AND wearing low cut impractical tanks (such as those manufactured by rip off artists like Lu Lu Lemon).  Alas, I'm covering up my chest and may even started lazering off all these bloody sunspots ASAP.  However, we don't want to run in turtlenecks now, do we?

Here comes the solution: my new favorite tank top: Mystique by T9.  It's light, travels easily, covers up the clavicles and is still fashionable.  It runs about $52 dollars and can be found easily online.
Check it out and protect that chest.  You have to. We're older now.   - Christine