Thee Most Vibrant Vibrators

Today we have two guest contributors, Lydia and Lynne, both of whom know a great deal about vibrators. We're not touching this one.  So here we go girls...

As we enter our 40s, we are definitely going to have dry spells, girls (and we're not talking about vaginal dryness yet).  In addition, we are unfortunately now plagued with the ubiquitous (it appears) problem of middle age erectile dysfunction by our 40 something sexual partners. We know.  We didn't think we'd face this issue until our 50s, but alas, it is what it is.  As such, at times, we just have to take matters into our own hands. No pun intended.

Over the weekend, we spent some time reviewing and assessing the best vibrators based on our collective experience with the same.  Here they are girls. Trust us on this one. We're saving you a lot of time.

Number 1!!!  (From Lydia) The Pocket Rocket.  A tried and true device, and economical at only $14.00, I can't see how you could go wrong with this. It's discrete, powerful, and portable.  Bonus -- it is simple to use and only takes 1 AA battery.  I am always skeptical of a vibrator that comes with an instruction manual. I am so fond of this little device that I have given it as presents to some of my most discriminating friends. I have had no complaints.  I have tried more elaborate models, but I always come back to The Pocket Rocket. Available on Amazon.com.

Lynne also gives the rocket a thumbs up.  However, her top pick is...

Number 2 !!!  The Dr. Berman Mini Water Proof Micro Bullet.  Lynne highly recommends this one because it has two speeds and intense power.   I love the Rocket, but the Bullet is a great addition, and it was made by a woman.   It is discreet like the Pocket Rocket.  Just say no to rechargeable vibrators.  I bought one, and there was no discrete way to keep it plugged in.   I am sure the cleaning lady discovered it more than once.  How do you say vibrator in Spanish?   Just remember women who use vibrators are more sexually satisfied.

There is no Number 3, by the way.  Our very very old school friend, Leslie, who also engaged in the analysis, not surprisingly, recommended the old school Rabbit. So 80s. So big and really, who wants to carry around a blue jumbo penis?  It's hard enough to deal with the pink ones.

Perfume that doesn't smell like Perfume

Whether you are going on a hot date or just to the office, perfume should not smell like perfume. You want to smell clean -- like fresh laundry or a bubble bath -- not like my friend Margarita who stills wears Eternity.  (She might have entered 2013 and switched recently to Marc Jacobs' Daisy).

I am a girl who loves perfume and has tried many fragrances, but I'm telling you, this one is the bomb.  Cleopatra by Tocca. It kind of smells like grapefruit and cucumber, and it's light but distinct. Even my therapist who is highly sensitive to noises and smells (she has issues too), loves it.

You can also get the hand lotion and layer it which makes it last longer.
Tocca makes great candles too.  At Anthropology or most major department stores.

Second best? My staple -- Amazing Grace by Philosophy.  Not expensive and smells so clean.

What are your favs?

Best Exfoliator: So Fresh

40 something girls (well throw 30 something girls in there too!) need to exfoliate their skin. 2-3 times per week. I KNOW. All of this maintenance. It's a lot of work. But as I have told you before,  it's hard to look good at middle age. Especially if you are still raging like we are.

I love this exfoliator, Fresh Sugar Face Polish and the whole Fresh line. In sum, fresh is fresh.  Brown sugar, strawberries and grapeseed oil.  Very nice, and it works extremely well.  It's a bit pricey, but you're worth it.

Give me some sugar!

(p.s. a couple of good options on the cheap - old school St Ives Apricot Scrub and Burts Bees Peach and Willow Bark Pore Scrub)

These Moms Rock

Now I know some of us Ragers are moms, some are not.  This is by no means a parenting blog, but I have to give a shout out to a few of my favorite favorite mommy blogs.  No uber-crafters, no supermoms, no Mary Poppins on steroids.   Just the real deal - like the rest of us.  

1.  Scary Mommy - Jill Smokler started this awesome blog over 5 years ago as a simple online baby book for her kids.  It's snowballed into one over 3 million views per month, 295k twitter followers and 80k facebook fans.  It's simple in its message - parenting is one helluva scary, hard job.  We all "f" it up once in a while!  My favorite part - the anonymous Scary Mommy Confessional

2.  Parenting with Crappy Pictures - Hilarious illustrations of the every day happenings of Amber Dusick and her kids.  Great for Rager moms with kids under 5. 

3.  Cool Mom Picks - The mom's guide to the ultimate in hipster, cool everything.  Designers, boutiques, electronics, party planning, etc.  

Watch for more favs to come - and send us yours and we'll share them!  So many out there to rage about!  

-Heather

The Perfect Work Dress

Hey Ragers - Christine here. My friends and I are in a middle rage at present about work dresses.

WTF?

I am not 22, and I'm not in PR in New York City, and even if I was 22 and in PR, in New York City,  I couldn't afford these alleged "work dresses".  I call them crotch dusters because they barely cover your crotch let alone your legs.  And then the backs are cut out, to boot.

How can I wear these to work?  I already have a propensity to be sexually harassed. I can't throw these numbers into the mix.

I want a fashionable dress that is not Ann Taylor, and I want one that comes just above my knees.
Is that too much to ask?

For advice and hope, I went to my favorite boutique located not in New York City but in Hudson, Ohio - The Grey Colt.

Katie and Stephanie hooked me up with this number which can be wore plain or with jewelry.

Classic navy.  Elemente Clemente from Germany.
3/4 sleeve and fitted v-neck bodice, obi pockets with soft sheering across the back

Best yet, the fabric is "travel-proof", won't wrinkle and will keep it's shape, and it has stretch.

$268

Second best? Last season, I went with Trina Turk. She was the only designer that made classic as well as vintage dresses that were not skin tight and hit directly above the knee.  Check her out too.

Prosecco: The Perfect Drink in the HEAT

Yeah, it's snowing but we're thinking about summer anyway.

We Middle Ragers are sophisticated. We are global. We love Italy. We do not just drink copious amounts of red wine.

Today's piece is about Prosecco, the Italian sparkling wine, that is the perfect drink in the summer heat.  It's actually perfect for anytime - with brunch or appetizers before that great bottle of red.  It's a bit fruitier than champagne and a lot more affordable.

According to Terry, the maestro at thee BEST wine shop in DC, Scheinder's on Capitol Hill, the best two Prosecco's are now in season and affordable to boot.  They are:

1. La Tordera (Brut) $20

2. Prima Perla $12.99

Salut!

All the Single Ladies

Today's post comes from hilarious Ann, single and sassy.  We married ladies have it easy!

I know that a lot of people have found love online. For busy women with full-time jobs, the prospect of scrolling through page after page of potential partners is far more appealing that putting on a flirty dress and hitting the bar scene – so sayeth every article ever written on the subject.

I’ve had my share of online dating experiences and feel somewhat qualified to provide some guidance to women thinking that online dating might be worth pursuing. I’m not going to try to stop you, but you should go forth armed with the following truths.

Every single profile contains one significant lie at minimum, and it’s usually height-related. Just as my doctor knows that when I say I have five drinks a week that I really mean 15, you should know that any guy claiming to be six-foot-two is really five-eight at best, five-ten in heels. 

If you’re looking for a born-again wingnut, then I suggest you check out eHarmony. The surveys are undoubtedly fun, but the same sense of self-satisfaction you get from answering question after question about yourself is universal and begs the question: do you really think you can find love with some dude who’d rather sit around answering questions about what his ideal Friday night looks like or whether, on a scale of one to ten, he could find love with someone who enjoys the occasional cigarette? Answer: you cannot 

Too cool for eHarmony? Seeking a “quirky, well traveled creative type”? Then OKCupid is for you. Behold! Page after page guys donning carefully chosen eyewear and skinny jeans, clutching a tattered book of short stories. Isn’t that photo of him surrounded by Vietnamese orphans darling? He chose it because they make him look tall. Two weeks of witty email banter may very well result in a lingering dinner with good wine, but you’re just setting yourself up for months of splitting the bill on account of him being “progressive.” There is a 100% chance that this will end with him sobbing into your lap because his mother loved his sisters more. Delete your profile and go outside.

Match.com is almost not even worth mentioning, because we all know it’s rife with date rapists with tribal tattoos. Do not go on a Match date without first enabling the GPS on your phone, otherwise they’ll never find your body.

I’m no longer concerned with whether or not I’ll find love online, because I know that in my forties, I will not. Instead, I’m focusing my attention on inventing a vibrator battery with 8-10 years of shelf life that will keep me occupied until I turn 50. On my 50^th birthday I intend to sign up for OurTime, a site that promises to be full of people, like me, who have given up and have no more reason to lie. I imagine all the OurTime profiles casually mention hairy ears and occasional bouts of incontinence – including my own. Here I will find my Silver Fox; here I will finally find my love.

The Perfect Bra

This one has been a big request for women but written for my dear friend Lynn who is trying to find the perfect bra. However, to write this,  I consulted my other friend Lynn, a fashion guru who specializes in lingerie at Nordstrom, so I knew I would get this one right.  I also spent the entire day today trying on bras at two major department stores!

 So here we go.

Okay, girls.  I know we hate spending money on bras (they are so expensive), but we don't have the girls of our 20s.  They are likely bigger and need more support.  I also keep hearing about things like side boobs and bra bulge. This isn't simple stuff. There are a lot of issues to deal with. So you're going to have to suck it up and invest in at least one good bra, okay?

 As such, forget Vicky's Secrets.  Unless you're the rare exception (e.g. Heather) and looking for more bust not less, then you can go to Vicky's and get the tried and true Miracle Bra to add a little illusion.

For the rest of us, you have to go to a proper department store to get a proper bra.  The best two bras I found were expensive but not the most expensive I saw, by far.  I give these two major thumbs up:

1. Natori:  Smooth. Supportive. Looks great with t-shirts. About $65.  Cheaper on zappos.com

2. Wacoal: Supportive as hell. Comfortable. No bra bulge. Looks great with tight  t-shirts and will last like six years.   Wacoal are a bit cheaper at $55, but I got one on sale today for $39.  They also make the best sports bras.

Go get one!
And report back.

Christine

Lean In or Stand Up Straight?

To be serious for a second, this is a shout out to the working moms out there.  As you have heard unless you have been completely off the radar for the last 3 weeks, there is a lot of buzz over Sheryl Sandberg's new book "Lean In: Women, Work and The Will to Lead".

The buzz runs the gammit from all-out praise to all-out vengeance.  I've always been one to want to see all sides - I applaud Sheryl for bringing the issue of women in the workplace to the forefront, highlighting the fact that it's still a man's world and equal pay for equal work still has a LONG way to go in this country.  But, I also understand those who say heeding advice from a billionaire with an army of staff at home doesn't make any sense to the rest of us.

So with this very personally relevant topic, I've gathered up a few of the most interesting perspectives that I've read to share with you.

The Male Perspective - This article from the Harvard Business Review provides a great analysis of key points from a male point of view.

The Tax Perspective - Check out this article in the New York Times about tax impacts of child care.

The Cheeky Perspective - Hey, if you want to Lean In, you're going to need a wife first. Check it out here.

The Balance Perspective - This article really struck me most (seriously) - most of us want balance.  Challenging, enriching work and flexibility to be a great mom, daughter, wife, neighbor.

In the end, each person has to find what works best for them.  I have some friends who are content stay-at-home moms, others who continue to climb and will conquer the corporate ladder.  The other 90% of my friends want some of both.  I started the book today - look for follow up coming soon....

Heather

How To Chillax (sans wine)

For your weekend of unwinding.....

I'm a huge fan of meditation (in theory) but in practice, it's next to impossible for me to "meditate."

If you are like me, you probably need guided meditation or music or something to make you relax (especially if we're taking out the wine).  However, in my more disciplined days, I used to go to Bethesda on Wednesday nights for a meditation class with Tara Brach. Tara has "Dharma talks" and uses the principles of Buddhism to teach you something AND help you relax.  Check her out online at tarabrach.com or download one her podcasts which are great to listen to before you go to bed!

Chin Hair - WTF?

(This is written at the request of and for my dear grade school friend Colleen)

As Colleen said to me recently in her southern accent, "Y'all need to write a piece about chin hair. WTF?"

She lamented that suddenly these hairs just kept sprouting up uncontrollably and without much notice.  And to make things even worse, as you reach middle age, they come out in shades of gray. I mean, really? Really?

Colleen is hair stylist and I am an extreme overuser of spa services/skin care treatments, so if there were a fix for this ailment, we'd have found it.  But we both agree, there is no real cure for this ill.  There are measures you can take, but there is no panacea.

First of all, I wouldn't shave. You do NOT want a grey beard coming back.You can't get laser unless they are (all) black, and most are not. So that isn't going to work.

Second I would wax, and this is what I do, but it will only last two weeks (tops), and you have to let the hair grow first (which is gross). And obviously, with all the other freaking things we have to do now to look good, it gets expensive.

Heather said it best. There is no other choice but to pluck, and pluck often.

Our advice?

Carry a good pair of tweezers in your car. For some reason, this is the best place to catch those guys and whip them out.

Sorry. We're still trying to find a solution on this one...

Welcome comments.

Best,
Christine

Best Red Wines Under 30 Smacks

As aforementioned, Heather and I are still ragers. We're not going to give up drinking like we're in our 20s.  Except now red wine is our poison of choice instead of Bud Light.

Red wine, though, is expensive especially if you drink as much of it as we do.

To help your pocketbook, here are some good ones for under 30 bucks:

1. Catena Malbec (about 20 bucks.  I also like it's cheaper version Alamos)

2. Montepulciano d'Abruzzo (about 20 bucks - my personal fav being an Italianphile)

3. Cotes du Rhone (preferrably 2009 or 2010)  (About 15 bucks)

4. Ridge Geyserville Zinfandel  (About 28 bucks)

5. Cloudline Pinot Noir  (About 19 bucks)

For the more expensive stuff, there are some great flash sale sites for wine where you can get short-term great deals.  Heather's favs are Wine.woot and Wine Til Sold Out.

You can always pull out the Folie et Deux Menage a Trois after your first two bottles of good stuff!

SALUT!

-Christine

Mama Was Right

Today's post is from guest contributor Ann Williams: It's not like hitting 40 isn't bad enough.  Try having your mother rub it in your face and send you her regular unsolicited advice on how to dress appropriately in middle age.  Today I got a phone call from my mother, a lovely conservative Southern woman from Baton Rouge, with the following message left on my cell phone. "Hey, this is your mama. I'm watching this show on the television called 'What Not to Wear.' They're talking about how women over 35 should not wear miniskirts. You should watch it. Love you. Bye." *blink* A few days later I was in a dressing room, feeling sassy and trying on cute skirts. (Quick aside: I no longer even attempt to try on shorts, but will stop short of saying women of any age should not wear them - I just know that these days, I cannot.) So I slipped on a skirt and was disappointed to discover that it hit about three inches above my knee. "Oh, dear," I thought. "This is not something someone my age should wear." Oh Mama.  What else were you right about? So let's discuss.  Mini skirt or not post 35?  Regrettably, I say NOT. (Christine's response) I feel you, sister!  Yesterday, my mom who also regularly opines on my "outfits" said: "Are you going to grow your hair any longer than that?" "What do you mean? I like my hair.  I get a lot of compliments on it." "I like it, too, dear.  I just don't think it should be much longer...not at your..." "AGE? You mean my AGE?"  I finished her sentence for her as I went into a middle age RAGE. "Yes. I just think you girls shouldn't go past shoulder length." So let's discuss this one, too.  Hair length post 40? How long is too long?

Summer Cocktails!

Tequila Bramble

Now that some decent weather has FINALLY come around, I'm looking forward to summer parties, and with that, summer cocktails.    This one looks awesome and is decent in calories.  Blackberries = antioxidants, right?

To check out the recipe, CLICK HERE

The Skort -- Oui? Or Abort?

It's Spring.

Almost Summer.

Hence, the decision to wear shorts or skort.

My vote:  Oui on the skort. Abort the shorts.

Shorts only look really good on really skinny people.  So if you are stick thin (and you may be), go for the shorts.  Personally, I haven't worn shorts since I was 28.  The concept is weird to me.  Basically, you cut off your pants and expose your thighs.

Instead, when I like to go casual or workout, I wear the skort.  Many are super short now though including the lululemon numbers with the ruffles.  I don't want everything hanging out there.

As such, check out Athleta.  They have great skorts for about 60 bucks and even come in tall sizes.  To see one of our favs:  CLICK HERE

- Christine

The Power of the Serum

Until recently, I did the 3-step skin care regime I've done since my 20s: cleanse, tone, moisturizer.  I mean, isn't this sufficient?  Remember that 3-step Clinique kit we used to get? Can't I still use that?

Answer: WRONG.

You're not in your 20s so you can't take care of your skin like you're in the 20s.  Now, you need something more (regrettably).

Hence, the power of the serum which I just recently learned about and starting using.  A MUST HAVE for 40 somethings.  (In fact, I'd even starting hitting this if you are in your late 30s).

As best explained to me, serums are like "divers"; moisturizers are like swimmers. You're to use a serum after you cleanse BEFORE you moisturize to rebuild your skin and give it some antioxidants to address aging.

After I started using this daily, within weeks, I started seeing a dewey glow to my skin and getting more compliments than ever.  In sum, get a serum.

Best Overall: Philosophy's Full of Promise 

2nd best and getting rave reviews:  Clarins (Double Serum Age Control Concentrate)

What are some of your favorites?  

Welcome!

Greetings! And welcome to Middle RAGE!  Here's a little bit about us and the Middle RAGE blog.

Heather and I have been friends since second grade, and we talk on the phone everyday (as many of you likely do with your girlfriends) about all kind of things.  Some serious: men, work, kids, politics, parents. Some not so serious BUT equally important: under eye creams, workouts, and red wine.  Of course, these topics become every more important as we age.  It's a lot harder now to look and feel good!

We created Middle RAGE to be a resource, a "go to" for 40 somethings, who like to rage about what they like and what they hate (including many parts of middle age).  We welcome all types of rants, rages and musings as well as your comments.  This isn't just our site.  It's yours too.

We also still love to RAGE and pretend like we're in our 20s. We are not yet fully accepting middle age.  So come join us on our journey.